Many conflicting thoughts passed through his head about whether he should go to Vietnam and fight in a war he didn’t support or flee to Canada. Even at the age of 21, Tim O’Brien realized that going to war to avoid embarrassment didn’t make him brave; “I was a coward. I went to the war” (O’Brien 61). He almost escaped to Canada, but when he sat only 20 yards from the shore, the shame of the decision he almost made overwhelmed O’Brien. Though fleeing to Canada would support his morals and ideals about the war, the thought of the shame and guilt brought on by this decision made O’Brien regret ever wanting to flee. “I couldn't endure the mockery, or the disgrace, or the patriotic ridicule. Even in my imagination, the shore just twenty yards away, I couldn't make myself be brave. It had nothing to do with morality. Embarrassment, that's all it was. And right then I submitted. I would go to the war—I would kill and maybe die—because I was embarrassed not to” (O’Brien 59). Because he feared how his friends and family would react if he found a way to avoid his draft, O’Brien went to Vietnam; his fear of shame fueled his “brave”