Disorganized Attachment Style

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Out of the four attachment styles mentioned in class, I believe am partially secure and partially disorganized. I believe this because I feel I relate to some of the avoidant traits and some of the ambivalent traits. The disorganized attachment style seems like a combination of the two. I know that the disorganized attachment styled is often a product of abuse. However, I have never been intentionally abused to my knowledge. That being said, I also grew up in an unusual environment. I am one of twelve children who were all homeschooled. After reading some of the lesser known definitions of abuse, I realize that it is very possible that I have been exposed to psychological abuse to some degree. I believe this to be the result of a couple of …show more content…
Most of the time I do not feel that I am okay, but I also do not think other people are okay. This makes it hard for me to have a role model. I do not look up to a lot of people, because I do not think they are any better off than I am. Another way my attachment style manifests itself in my relationships is during conflict. When I begin to get in conflict with another person, I often get really emotionally wound up. I start to try to figure it out and it usually starts by me thinking about what they did wrong. Then I think that t need to change myself, so I try to figure out what I can do to fix the situation. Here is when I begin to get confused, because I cannot figure if I am the problem or they are and I get into a highly emotional place. Next, I get to the place where I cannot handle the emotions. So in the end I decide I should probably distance myself from this person, because I am getting too emotionally attached to them.
Ultimately, my attachment style affects every close relationship in my life. Although having the disorganized attachment style is hard, I know that I can begin the path to a secure attachment style. I now have a better understanding of myself and why I am the way that I am. This knowledge will help me to strengthen my current relationships and start new healthy
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