My Life In The Hands Of Literacy

Submitted By joliek
Words: 1295
Pages: 6
Open Document
My Life in the Hands of Literacy

I’m sitting in one of the four corners in my room with my knees drawn up against my chest, looking at the knife in my hand. What would happen if I took my life, right now? There might be some people sad to lose me, but not a lot. I’d easily be forgotten, just another teen lost to suicide.

Tears stream down my face as I contemplate the ending of my life. I don’t want to do it. I’d give anything to feel well again, but everyday feels like the day before. Every day is like the spin cycle on a washer machine. It keeps going around and around without any variety. I’m not doing anything with myself. Sure, I go to school, but I’m failing. I have friends, but I’m just going through the motions. My dad is constantly on my case; my stepmom is ridiculous, and my little sister…everything I’m not.
I hold the blade to my wrist and I do it…

No, I didn’t commit suicide. I cut my wrist like I had done plenty of times before. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, to end it at that moment. After a while I finally realized I needed help. So, I told on myself. I got help, I joined a group, and I stopped cutting. That sounds easy, but it was a journey. It took time and patience and the willingness.

If my father knew I was depressed, that I was cutting, he never showed any signs. He never asked if I was okay. Part of what led to my depression was the vibe he gave off to me all the time. It was like a warning vibe. That feeling always kept me from telling him how I felt. I wish I could of told him how angry I was, how heavy my heart felt on a daily basis, and how much I wished he loved me enough to care. My depression was my armor against the emotional onslaught I received every day.
One of the reasons my father’s negativity towards me affected me so bad was because when I was younger, I was his baby girl. I was his pride and joy. I could do nothing wrong. It’s too bad it did not stay that way.
Another reason my depression worsened was because I didn’t have any motivation. I didn’t have anybody pushing me, telling me to get up and do something with myself. When I woke up in the morning, it was with dread. That was the saddest thing of all.
I idolized my father when I was younger. At least until I was sixteen. Before, everything my father did was right. He definitely could do no wrong. He was my god in a way. I never questioned him. I looked to him with blind faith. I couldn’t tell you when my eyes finally cleared and I saw him for the controlling person he was.
At this point, I felt like I had nothing to lose. So, I take my life, then what? Well, because of my religion, I’d say I would be in hell. What would that mean for the people still alive? Would someone mourn me? I’m curious as to who would be there after I was dead. Maybe that’s why I did not do it. I wanted to see their faces when they found me. I felt a grim satisfaction thinking my father would find me. He’d be the one to see my body first and wonder why I did it. I honestly believe he did not know I was depressed or that anything was
Show More

Related Documents: My Life In The Hands Of Literacy

Frederick Douglass Learning To Read And Write Essay

Literacy is defined as the ability to read and write. These talents may take years to develop, however once mastered, literacy can be a fantastic skill. Literacy allows people to explore new ideas and knowledge. An example of someone who utilizes the most of his resources is Fredrick Douglas. Although a slave, where it is forbidden to be knowledgeable, he overcame many obstacles and learned how to read and write. In one of Fredrick Douglas’ excerpts, “Learning to Read and Write,” he explains specific…

Words 654 - Pages 3

My Literacy Analysis

Literacy has a much more broader meaning than just the ability of a person to read and write. To me literacy is the ability of a person not only to read and write but also being able to thoroughly comprehend, perceive the value of the given information and put it in to use. Based on my experience Literacy translates to being an expert in particular subject or areas of life. Literacy is what gives individual personal and economic freedoms. Sometimes literacy doesn’t even necessarily require the ability…

Words 1402 - Pages 6

6 Stages Of Development

When learning to write children go through six stages of development. pictures: children begin written literacy by telling their stories through pictures they have drawn. Wavy scribbles: children make wave like lines on paper. This is an attempt to copy hand writing, there are no letters or breaks to look like words. The lines are ongoing waves across the page. Letter like scribbles: children make forms that look like made up letters or numbers. Familiar letters may appear. The letters are scattered…

Words 502 - Pages 3

Literacy Improvement Plan

Throughout this semester I have been working towards improving my literacy skills using my plan for academic literacy improvement. I believe I have improved in most areas of my literacy, however I did not strictly follow my plan for academic literacy improvement and therefore have not improved in certain areas. It was identified by Grellier and Goerke (2014) that I had trouble using simple, direct language and writing in the active rather than passive voice. I followed my plan and for the first time…

Words 390 - Pages 2

Common Core State Standards

The common core, state standards, and shift in literacy are all components found within school districts across the United States. Each of these "set of guidelines"was created to help with the advancement of student knowledge and understanding; allowing individual students to graduate high school more prepared for a higher degree and opportunity. "The standards are meant to guide the general curriculum. They were developed in an attempt to raise student achievement levels and to standardize the learning…

Words 1577 - Pages 7

Homeless Veterans

eased with health literacy training. For many, the core of their problem lies with their mental illness. Those with severe mental illnesses tend to become anxious and withdrawn which usually leads to them pushing away those who are trying to keep them from becoming homeless. Even if programs such as Housing First get these homeless veterans into permanent housing, they are likely to quickly lose it if their illnesses are not treated. Improving health literacy must work hand in hand with supportive…

Words 1492 - Pages 6

Literacy and Technology Essay

Does Technology Influence Literacy? When considering the idea of literacy most assume that it’s the ability to read and write, which is somewhat correct because literacy is looked at as “the act of reading”. However this understanding is quiet rudimentary and simplified. Literacy should be understood as having the capacity to read textual content and make connections between what the writer is relaying and how it applies to the topic that’s being discussed. Also, literacy should invoke critical thinking…

Words 915 - Pages 4

Summary: Personal Narrative High School Basketball Team

competitive high school basketball team, my disposition transformed due to powerful encouragement and helping hands. As years went on I grasped the knowledge of playing basketball, but many hours of focus and practice took place during those five progressive years. My head coach was the strongest guidance for me, by acknowledging his specific ideology about basketball from previous years. He is literacy sponsor that reconstructed my identity by giving me access to authority and fitting my character to a…

Words 450 - Pages 2

Reading Literacy Essay

your way around are just some of the skills necessary to survive in today’s world. According to a web article on literacy issues I recently read at www.rit.org, children who are solid readers perform better in school, have a healthy self-image, and become lifelong learners, which adds to their viability in a competitive world. As children grow into young adults without proper literacy, employment prospects grow dim and the chance for anti-social behavior increases and the article also mentions that…

Words 705 - Pages 3

Personal Statement: How To Teach A Child To Read

have the responsibility to implement a balanced literacy that enhances students learning to read and write. Introducing phonemic awareness, phonics, vocabulary, fluency, and comprehension, in structured guided reading, read aloud, shared reading activities focused on children learning styles, prior knowledge, and reading level. Foremost, basing my personal philosophy of literacy instruction, on constructivism and sociolinguistic theories, where hands on experience and guidance are priorities. Therefore…

Words 1637 - Pages 7