Everyone has his or her own perception of what exactly happened. Between two people, one's view may differ from the others' when there is a conflict. Listening to the problem, restating the issue in simplest terms and keeping the problem separate from the people is important when mediating. "A listener who does not take sides. It is someone who is patient and respects others' viewpoints" (Weekly Reader Corporation, Jan 1999). Helping both parties agree on exactly what the problem is necessary. Refocusing the problem is the next step.
By refocusing the problem the mediator helps the people get a new perspective on what it is they are arguing about. Find the underlying "reason" why both individuals acted the way they did is important. Asking questions like, "Why did individual A' do what they did and why individual B' acted in the manner they did", can help you find the source of the problem. Finding the core of the problem is needed to generate possible solutions.
The mediator's job is to brainstorm some possible solutions that will help in solving the conflict. The possible solutions should be suitable to each individuals needs and not offend any other individuals. "Express any ideas that come to mind, collect as many ideas as possible, and don't discuss or criticize the ideas" (p.5 Weekly Reader Corp. Jan 1999). Once the possible solutions are established, evaluating the situation and deciding on one solution that will